Bad News for Bernie Sanders

Bad news has been piling up for renowned pinko socialist crackpot Bernie Sanders since Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and the DNC screwed him over in his bid to become the Democratic nominee to run against President Trump. The party bosses and delegates carried water for the lesser candidate and greater of two evils, Hillary Clinton, and the result was a November surprise that will be dissected ad infinitum for the rest of our nation’s history.

There has been some good news for the Senator. His anti-capitalist ravings have given him abundant wealth, which helped him procure for himself a swanky lakeside retreat in Vermont, his third home. The man who once claimed children are starving because our nation produces too much deodorant is doing well for himself privately by way of the system of economics he publicly excoriates.

Rank hypocrisy is nothing new for the party and politicos of the progressive persuasion.

The most recent bad news for Senator Sanders is the revelation that his wife, Jane Sanders, is under FBI investigation for federal bank fraud. While President of Burlington College, Mrs. Sanders allegedly distorted donor information when applying for a multi-million dollar bank loan to purchase 33 acres of land from the Burlington Archdiocese. This loan and the purchase would ultimately lead to the closure of the school, a not unsurprising result of financial activities undertaken by a woman whose world view presumably mirrors that of her husband’s economically illiterate ideology.

There’s a cherry on top of this shit sandwich (I know, I know, people don’t put cherries on sandwiches, just go with me on this): Jane Sanders walked away from the rubble of Burlington College with a $200,000 golden parachute. According to the complaint letter filed against Mrs. Sanders by Brady Toensing, the Vermont chairman for President Trump’s campaign, Senator Sanders’ financial disclosures from 2011-2013 clearly demonstrate that the senator directly benefited from his wife’s shady dealings with People’s United Bank, the bank she allegedly defrauded while running Burlington College.

It is worth noting that up until 2015, all of Senator Sanders’ financial assets were in his wife’s name (The $65,000 in credit card debt, however, belongs solely to Bernie). We don’t know anything about his current financial standing because he failed to submit his 2016 disclosure on time, but he was good enough to at least file an extension.

There’s probably nothing particularly nefarious hiding in his 2016 disclosure, nothing beyond the aforementioned rank hypocrisy of a man who denounces capitalism on the big stage while simultaneously enriching himself by it.

This is the way it always goes with socialists who use deceptive rhetoric to reach for the seat of power. The people stand in breadlines while the “fearless” leaders live in a lap of luxury. For all of Bernie’s hypocrisy, he is at least consistent with his statist forebears. Bernie is cut from the same cloth as monsters like Mao and Stalin and Pol Pot. But Bernie isn’t content to confine the perverse destruction of his abominable ideology to one college in Vermont. It’s rumored that Senator Sanders will soon introduce single-payer healthcare legislation in the Senate.

It isn’t enough that his wife destroyed Burlington College and he lined his pockets with the proceeds. Bernie has now set his sights on destroying the entire country with his defunct and debunked fantasies of how wonderful the world be if we learned to stop worrying and love big government. And how bad could state-run healthcare really be? Judging by the Veterans Administration, it would be a nightmare. Do you remember the VA scandal? Do you remember who the chairman of the Senate Veterans Affairs committee was when it broke? I’ll give you three guesses but you’ll only need one.

Bernie freakin’ Sanders.

As an aside, each and every one of us owes Hillary Clinton, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, and the DNC a big thank you for screwing Bernie and compounding his frustration with humiliation when he bent his knee and kissed HRC’s ring. He very well could have beaten President Trump in the general election. He was arguably a stronger candidate than Hillary. Crazy old Bernie Sanders could be president right now and no doubt he’d be hatching a scheme to do to the whole country what his wife did to Burlington College.

Bernie Sanders has been getting a lot of bad news lately to cancel out his good news. The good news is that he has a lovely new lakeside retreat. The bad news is that, according to 18 US code 1344, the penalty for defrauding a bank is a fine up to a million dollars and up to thirty years in prison. The good news is he can afford the fine. The bad news is he doesn’t have thirty years.